I am a total loser because I can't even get a total loser to like me! I recently went on a date with a 34 year old man who still lives with his parents and is marginally employed. I am marginally employed and at 28 I still live with my parents. I make $____a really low wage___ a month from my job. He makes $400 a month. He smokes and had long hippyish blond hair and only works two weeks of the month. Also as a former church missionary, he somehow knocked up his girlfriend at age nineteen. Yeah, that's real religious. He was totally reading his Bible! The girl he knocked up was only a high school girl at the time. On the date he spoke of his past as some great, "Tragedy." As if his girlfriend and kid had been randomly buldozed. Either way he seemed to be a dead beat dad still living with his parents while his ex-wife and kid live in California, probably glad to be rid of him. All night he kept squirming in his seat though I tried to say nice things to him and nod my head, he seemed in agony and kept staring at the time. It was obvious he hated being on the date with me. He got up no less than three times to run to the bathroom and "pee" but I saw him bum cigarettes off skanky looking rat girls in torn hose and heels. Proof that he is a bum, he interrupted our date by bumming free smokes at the bar. Because he was absolutely luscious looking with a full set of lips and clear green eyes, despite his full puff smoking and drink downing I continued to stare at him and prolong the date. After the first date he texted me every day for a two months! Yes, two MONTHS to "talk" but never asked me out. Either he didn't have the money or I was being strung along by a major loser. Also during our date he never asked ONE question about me, as if he thought I was a loser too and didn't want to know. Or he never bothered to foster the curiosity because it didn't matter. I texted him tonight but I have not heard from him. After two months of texting me every day to ask what I'm doing he probably figures the answer is nothing, and he's right. Tonight he basically just ignored me, thinking that I'm not even worth texting anymore. It wouldn't hurt if he was just a loser. But he is a beautiful loser. A 6'3" handsome, thin but muscular movie star of a guy with full lips and Fabio hair and a long blond ponytail. Girls at work found him so cute they just called him "Fabio" and although it isn't his real name, his real name is really close to that. He is Brazilian American and so tall looked like the male supermodel version of Bar Raphaeli. And unfortunately I am no beautiful loser, I'm a loser and ugly so he even one upped me there!
I'm a Total Loser Because...
I had a lot of potential. People used to say im smart but lazy. I flunked out constantly at school. Cant do advance Maths.
Im 21 ,living at home, barely above 5 feet. I cant drive and i even have trouble sleeping.
How pathetic is that. Even dogs sleep. I cant even to that. I have terrible acne scarring and worst of all. I could have made something of myself but im a loser. I waste oxygen. Im at australia now and im still a loser. I give my people a bad name. I needed braces but refused them. I dont deserve stuff like that. Wish to have a guy in coma , transplant his brain to my body. At least he can live and be happy
I am a 17years old girl. Big dreams and no capability. In the end of my school life I realise how much failure I have faced. I should be given a fucking award for it. I thought I can dance but never got selected for school show, can't speak in public. The mere thought of public speaking makes me wanna pee my pants. Mediocre student. Could not do well in An easy test like SAT whereas one of my classmates almost killed it. I don't know. I feel it's better I don't live anymore. All my friends have always betrayed me. I am no one's first priority. Fell in love with a guy who dumped me after 2 years for some other chick. Baam! Almost turned me into a mental patient, always talking to myself, never feeling good enough, the burning jealousy within me. I, now, have only imaginary friends. Hope I will get a few in college. I am on fire from inside. I wanna show those double faced bitches, those pigs what I can be. Sadly, reality makes me feel that this is who I can be utmost, a ditched, betrayed and fucked up loser. I am a loser. A hardcore loser.
Yup. I can't live.
Sigh. Where do I begin? Im 28 and a virgin. Which is really bad for a woman. I can't save any money. I quit my job for one I thought was better only to find out that they aren't going to give me any hours. So now I'm broke and the people I'm living with seem to be getting tired of me. Everyone wants to turn me into their slave. I'm supposed to pay everything and do all the cleaning and if I don't, I'm a bad "houseguest" even when I was paying upwards of 400 a month to live with them. I'm short and fat and have no way to make any money online even though I'm just trying to find a way to earn a bit extra. Nothing ever works out for me, my family doesn't love me, guys have always run from me like I was the plague the b*%ch I live with is ganging her friends up on me to try to get me to be her slave because the house isn't clean but yet she sits on her 400lb backside and refuses to do ANYTHING. I dying inside and no one cares. Nothing works.
Everything started out ok. Not perfect, but ok. My father left shortly after my birth. We were poor. VERY poor, by U.S.A standards. But I was very pretty, and had a good mother and great loving grandparents.
Then sh!t got real.
I can't for the life of me figure out why, but starting in 8th grade, I began to be hated and bullied by my peers. I'd always been bullied off and on by ugly girls, but that year was different. Everyone hated me. I have always had a pretty healthy self esteem, not conceited, but not down on myself. I believe that is because of the love and support I got from my mom & grandparents, but a life of being beat down has shaken me. I found that I am roundly disliked, I cannot figure out why. I've asked the few friends I have made, they say they can't figure it out either. School got so bad that I eventually quit, on the advice of my principle & my mother too.
The years went by, & here I am, a middle aged woman. Fragile health, so I cannot work or drive, no man after 2 failed marriages, the second worse than the first,... and that's saying something. Hardly any friends & the few I have live far from me. You know I never was good at making friends, but it gets even harder the older you get, & not working but staying home because I'm sick all the time doesn't help. I don't have any social anxiety, I'm not shy. I'm a loyal friend, have been told I'm very funny. So why am I so disliked? Why am I so alone? Why were all the men in my life horrible nightmares?
Disability is a pittance. I live on $700. a month. Imagine that.
My once good looks are long gone. I'm old and fat now, and look as sick and disabled as I am. I live alone, suffer major depression that frightens me at times. They say everyone has their ups & downs, but I seem to only have downs. As bad as the present is, the future looks worse. I have nothing to look forward to but getting older and sicker, living in poverty, then dying alone.
It's not worth getting up in the morning.
A middle aged lady grabbed my shoulder and said "Joseph?" She had mistaken me for her grandson! That's what an ugly woman I am. I am 28, unemployed and single and I live with my parents. I asked a guy I dated for a year over last night and he told me how ugly he thought I was, how he thought I looked like a guy and I also know he took naked pictures of my snatch and sent them to his older brother. I went for a job interview recently and a fly buzzed around me during the interview and I couldn't tell the interviewer that I hate working nights so he just got this funny look on his face, frowned and I knew it was over.